… but I have been out of school for a month and haven’t written anything. Instead, I’ve spent my down time eating caramel rice cakes and rewatching Friends.
What is it about having less responsibility over the summer that keeps me from sitting down and writing something? My ideas are endless. I have things started and already know how they end, so why haven’t I ended them yet? Is it a fear that the finished product won’t measure up to what I’ve created in my mind and I’ll end up underwhelmed and disappointed? Yes, I’ve read “Shitty First Drafts” by Anne Lamott, but I still have this unrealistic expectation that my completed first drafts will be sheer unprecedented brilliance.
Or maybe I’m just that lazy. I would like to think that that isn’t the case, but you never know. I become a tiny power house during the school year, but as soon as May hits, I check out of my productivity mode for the following 3-4 months – a habit I would love to get out of. So why don’t I? I couldn’t tell you.
You may be thinking by now: Well, you’re writing this blog post, aren’t you?
Yes, yes I am. But, it took a very long conversation with myself to do so. I’m also using it in part as further procrastination from what I’m really working on. Clever, no?
Recently I’ve seen a lot of people on social media documenting their health and fitness ventures as, I’m assuming, a way of keeping them accountable for sticking with it. My hope is that admitting to my own procrastination will help kick me into high gear to get some writing done. Like I said, it’s not from a lack of ideas, it’s from a lack of… something.
As I’ve watched the physical progress of many Facebook friends, I’m hoping that my own confession will help me progress in my written projects. Unfortunately, that progress won’t be known to others until it’s finished (because I’m that type of writer) but at this point I’ve got nothing to lose. If you don’t use your muscles, you lose them. If I don’t write my ideas down now, before I know it I’ll be 90 and will have forgotten them all.
As for now, I guess I should just keep writing.